And we thought Microsoft was the Evil Empire?

My Gmail account was hacked into on Wednesday evening … and I was going to try to fix it myself when I got home, because I figured Google just might be that user friendly.

Au contraire mon frere.  Not only do the numerous cumbersome “fill out these forms first” become a nightmare because they include things like: “What are the top five most common email addresses you use?”
- um, hello, I can’t tell you because I can’t get INTO my email… or the “Were you invited to use Gmail?” – uh, yes, like 3 years ago. And you are asking me the person’s email address who INVITED ME? NOW?… or the “When was the date of when you started using Gmail?” hello, idiots.  If I was able to log in after being hacked into, don’t you think I’d be able to tell you? And on that note, YOU SHOULD KNOW – YOU HAVE MY ACCOUNT RECORD.

So, after time and time of looking through insulting, tedious, no-result in sight surveys, I decided to call (and yes, there’s no phone number available to the naked desiring eye) 1-800-555-1212.  I got connected to: 1-888-882-7114.  This number gladly shared through a recorded voice that Google was happy to help, they were open 24/7 and guess what? FOR ONLY $2.99 PER MINUTE (was this a 1-900 number?) I could TALK TO SOMEONE.  I even got the first TWO minutes for no cost. 

Wait.  A. Second. You mean to tell me, that I have a problem, and you are willing – YOU GOOGLE – to help little old me for only $2.99 per minute?  O.M.G. That is so generous of you.  But how do I pay thee, so generous one? 

Why, you only have to plug in your credit card number to some random service!  So easy.  But if you don’t feel comfortable in doing that – heaven forbid – which is probably why I ended up here to begin with because I received an “official message from Gmail” that my account would close unless I answered a few questions – THEN, my friend – you only have to call a 1-900 number and your PHONE would be charged.  Your two minutes of freedom would be reqlinquished, however. 

I can’t get over this.  Is there no justice in the world of communication?  Are we fools to have used Gmail in a professional sense or even in a heavy personal sense?  Is Google evil?  Should I just switch to a Mac and forget about Microsoft and Google and all that are user-unfriendly?  Are they all untrustworthy? 

And to think, I gave Gchat all those months, days, hours, the benefit of the doubt when all of my friends and I cursed your name because of how you’d “kick us off” here and there while “gchatting”, and we’d complain!  Silly us.

Well, Gmail and Gchat.  Forget you.  You have proven me wrong in the world of being loyal.  I have no doubt lost years of important, vital information that will cost me a lot of grief, heartache, money, and time. 

You don’t care about my traffic, or business, it’s obvious.  Maybe you do.  I guess it would just cost ME $2.99 / minute to find out just how much.

About Pamela Sorensen:
Pamela Lynne Sorensen is the founder of Pamela’s Punch, a leading source of information for the “who, what, when, and where” of Washington, DC’s elite social, professional, and philanthropic scene, which she founded in November of 2006. In 2012 she launched Pacific Punch, based in Los Angeles. Pamela comes from an extensive background in sales and business development from a variety of industries, has been involved with charities and fundraising for a number of years and holds several Board and leadership positions. She currently resides in Arlington, Virginia and when she’s not out on the town, she’s reading or writing while sipping fine wine, or traveling the country and the world ISO adventures, beauty, fun, food, style, libations, music, and the good life. Follow her on Twitter at @pamelaspunch.